theredredkrovvy: (maybe some ultra-violence?)
theredredkrovvy ([personal profile] theredredkrovvy) wrote2008-12-27 04:36 pm

001

The last true veshch your humble narrator can remember, I was intending to snuff it. Those grahzny bratchnies, that sodding writer veck and his foul malenky droogs, they like played that music to make me do it. I jumped from that okno on my oddy knocky with the shoom of the stracky orchestra in my ears and the feeling of wanting to be sick all through my brooko...

But after that, bratties, I think I dreamed. These doctor vecks standing over my gulliver and all around my plott stood these devotchkas with these like masks covering their rots and their zoobies. And I could slooshy like chumbled golosses that made no sense, and there was this like von of vinegar and soap. Then I was feeling very fagged and fashed by that time and there were these like pains in my gulliver and my keeshka and my rot tasted of the red. After that it got very dark as if it were the nochy, O my little brothers and I dreamed no more.

If I had expected to wake at all, I would have thought I’d wake to a vredded plott and a bolshy great headache, in the old hospital, but I'm feeling right as right, my brothers. And all my lovely old things are here. Perhaps I did snuff it after all… But where then are Bog and all his holy angels and saints? He’d want to viddy my descent to Hell with his own two glazzballs, of that I am sure...

But, if this is not Hell, where then is it that I shall now be laying my gulliver down? My new domy, as it were?

[identity profile] spo0kshow-baby.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
You talk funny.

[identity profile] hologramatic.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:18 am (UTC)(link)
What are you on about?

[identity profile] tehpeoplespoet.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
Ha! What is this, your attempt at Shakespearean English?

Pathetic!
ext_990402: (religion brothers)

2/2

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:23 am (UTC)(link)
A book that govoreets back. Never viddied the like in the old biblio.

[identity profile] i-hate-posses.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:25 am (UTC)(link)
What the hell is this?
ext_990402: (a right little bastard)

He decides he's probably kinda insane and goes with it.

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:27 am (UTC)(link)
...

My life raskazz, brother sir. Or maybe the like one of my snuffing it.

Sarcasm? Never!

[identity profile] hologramatic.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
Well, that clears everything up. Thank you for being so lucid. Tell me, is there some medication you were supposed to have taken this morning that somehow got overlooked?
ext_990402: (a right little bastard)

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:36 am (UTC)(link)
Shakespearean, brother? Long-dead like writer vecks? No, this is nadsat. The young lewdies govoreet like this all the raz...

How comes it thou don't know this, brother sir?

[identity profile] spo0kshow-baby.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
...uh huh.
ext_990402: (maybe some ultra-violence?)

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:39 am (UTC)(link)
Nadsat.

I am getting fair sick in the guttiwuts of all this like questioning, o my brother. How is it all these like moodges do not pony this?
ext_990402: (freaked)

You freaked him out

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:42 am (UTC)(link)
Medication? Like the hypos?

No, brother sir, no. I'm a like simple boy. Nothing wrong with me.

2/2

[identity profile] tehpeoplespoet.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:46 am (UTC)(link)
...I have absolutely no idea what you're saying to me! What are you, some sort of retarded spazz? I didn't think people with such extreme language impairments could write, but you must be the brightest of the bunch, eh, matey?

Well, newsflash- you've still got some work to do before you can engage in any meaningful conversations! Ha!
ext_990402: (smug bezoomny malchick)

Oh Rick, he's going to hurt you sometime...

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 06:53 am (UTC)(link)
I don't deserve these grahzny slovos, o my brother. I never did you no harm, did I?

Ah, but Rick just keeps on going... :P

[identity profile] tehpeoplespoet.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
"Grahzny slovos"? Is this some nasty slang term for Russians? Because I'll have you know, there's some good things have come from that country! Leninist Ideology, for one! But I can see from you last sentence you are capable of semi-coherent writing! Bravo, right on, and so forth! Really, why didn't you just write nicely to begin with? Or were you just seeking attention? Because that's a pretty pathetic way of getting it, matey!
ext_990402: (crazy smirk)

That's why we love him!

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
You want my like gentleman's goloss, then? You wish me to write as you do? Very well, my brother, I'll write your way...

Tell me kindly, brother sir, what this place is. My room and my like things are here but outside my very door it like smots all different.

Who'dve thought Rick would ever give a Barge Tutorial to someone...

[identity profile] tehpeoplespoet.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 07:27 am (UTC)(link)
Ha! This place? This place is a fascist-controlled prison ship where corrupt wardens frequently restrict the civil liberties of its passengers, even those not guilty of any wrongdoing! I, for example, am only here because of a bureaucratic mix-up! It should have been dealt with weeks ago, yet here I still am, a victim to the total and utter mistreatment at the hands of the Nazis who run this place! It's incredible, I had no idea such despicable places as this barge existed before I somehow found my way onboard- and let me tell you, matey; the minute I can get off, I'm filing a lawsuit demanding a hefty payout for all I've had to endure here! Right on!

Case and point, this place is evil and awful! And now you're stick here on it with the rest of us!
ext_990402: (not at all horrorshow)

Strikes kinda readable

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 07:36 am (UTC)(link)
A prison with wardens just like them that were in my old staja, foul malenky chassos. Welly welly well... From one staja to the next. But did I not serve my time and endure more besides? What more must poor Alex endure?

... I've got my own veshches here, at least, that is, everything but my britva and my pretty polly.

So. You're a plenny, are you? That is, a prisoner, brother sir. What's your eem- that is, your name, brother?

[identity profile] tehpeoplespoet.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 02:25 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not sure I caught all that- have you been here before? God, you'd have to be pretty bloody awful (or terribly unlucky) to have been sent to this ship more than once!

And my name's Rick. I don't see why you have to keep writing gibberish and then translating it for me. Can't you just write proper English?

[identity profile] hologramatic.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 02:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, yes. Clearly you win "Mr. Sanity of the year".

[identity profile] i-hate-posses.livejournal.com 2008-12-27 03:01 pm (UTC)(link)
...what?
ext_990402: (smug bezoomny malchick)

He doesn't like you.

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-28 08:06 am (UTC)(link)
ext_990402: (thinking too much)

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-28 08:12 am (UTC)(link)
Not here, I was plennied in another staja. My oozhassny luck was brought about by them that called themselves my droogs... My friends, rather.

No self-respecting malchick govoreets the way you do A pleasure to make your aquaintance, I'm sure, brother sir.
ext_990402: (faking goodness)

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-28 08:14 am (UTC)(link)
Not one veck on this ship knows nadsat, then?

Rick tries so hard to seem cool and exciting...

[identity profile] tehpeoplespoet.livejournal.com 2008-12-28 09:40 am (UTC)(link)
...right.

I suppose it's a pleasure to meet you, too. You're a bit of a potty fellow, though, aren't you? Writing gibberish here and there, and then clearing it up with real words? Do you find that amusing? I can't seem to make sense of any of it!

But that's okay, I'm pretty nutty myself. In fact, one time, I was reading a book and something really incredible happened and I exclaimed "Would you look at that!" even though I knew no one else was around! I mean, really, who was I talking to? Nobody! Isn't that totally nutty? I must seem pretty strange to you! Ha!

[identity profile] i-hate-posses.livejournal.com 2008-12-28 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
...no? Nadsat? What?

This ain't worth it...

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2008-12-28 09:34 pm (UTC)(link)
...

Comrade, do you sometimes find your pen refusing to align letters in the correct order to form real words? From time to time do you realize that you don't actually understand what words are needed to make sentences which accurately express you want to convey? Have you noticed that the imagination you've relied upon to get you through life apparently isn't enough to construct words with a universally understood meaning? Comrade, now is the time to step up and take no hesitation from existence! To set aside the sentimental words that we and our families and our friends have carved out of the verbal fabric of the world, and surpass the childishly individual dialect that will never serve us in a contemporary business and commerce setting! The time is here to take command not of the language that has naively evolved in our personal and backwater suburbs, but rather the gloriously uniform words of the Oxford English dictionary! For only a small, negotiable fee, eight hundred pages of perfectly defined, aligned, and accurately assigned words can be yours! Forever at your disposal for a greater, more specific life of understandable conversation!
ext_990402: (heh)

...goodness, look at the sarcasm he gets back. Bad manners, Alex.

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-29 05:27 am (UTC)(link)
Appy polly loggies, brother. Just writing as my like upbringing hath taught me to.

... That certainly does sound bezoomny, fillying about like that with not a soul around.
ext_990402: (faking goodness)

2/2 - He fixes on the important parts

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2008-12-29 05:28 am (UTC)(link)
Business and commerce, brother?

Prefect likes that you called him Brother :D

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2008-12-29 03:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Business and commerce, brother.

Without a strong command of universally understood language, how can you ever hope to establish a strong base with potential customers?

[identity profile] andrew-unwells.livejournal.com 2008-12-29 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)
[ooc: Andrew is trying to figure out if he's speaking in one of those many alien or demonic languages he knows...]

Hey, um... what's your name?
Edited 2008-12-29 16:28 (UTC)
ext_990402: (bog & his angels look out for me)

I thought he might! The start of a very bizarre friendship, perhaps? :P

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2009-01-01 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
I do not believe I have any like potential customers, brother sir. And that being the case, my nadsat serves me just horrorshow. But I can govoreet like you and all these other vecks if I so choose, brother. To get my like point across, yes?

And what dost thou know about like business and commerce, then?
ext_990402: (smug bezoomny malchick)

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2009-01-01 05:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ooc: Aw, my fourth wall restrictions caught you out, huh?]

Alexander DeLarge, at your service. And might I enquire about your own eemya?

Perhaps! When he tries hard he understands what you're saying, which is a start!

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2009-01-01 03:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, not yet you don't have any potential customers, but if no one can understand the way you, uh, "govoreet" then you won't get any!

And Comrade, I know that business is the most beautiful, sacred, wonderful thing in the world!
ext_990402: (droogy?)

That's a good thing! Alex is kinda...irritated that no one gets what he's talking about. :P

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2009-01-02 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
Maybe so, but I don't know that I'd be able to itty about like a dobby salesman...

What is it that you do for a rabbit, my bratty?

Prefect is a lot smarter than he acts, and it's not THAT hard to figure out what Alex means!

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2009-01-02 01:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, I'm very sorry to hear that Comrade.

I'm an Alpha Plus, and a Prefect for the Factory.
ext_990402: (bog & his angels look out for me)

He...kinda wants to know if Prefect can get him a razor.

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2009-01-03 11:50 am (UTC)(link)
What's an Alpha Plus? And which factory would that be, brother?

What veshches didst this factory of yours like produce?

Prefect probably can't :c but he'll try!

[identity profile] buywithme.livejournal.com 2009-01-08 09:27 pm (UTC)(link)
An Alpha plus is the most responsible and capable of the working Factory employee's, and I work for the Factory, not just a Factory.

And the Factory produces everything!
ext_990402: (maybe some ultra-violence?)

That's all Alex asks. :|

[identity profile] theredredkrovvy.livejournal.com 2009-01-12 07:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Righty right, then. What's the Factory?

So canst thou like supply things to them that are on this sodding ship?